Lonely
for a Reason
October 7, 2012
Talk about foreshadowing, I had a gander back on my
previous blog posts and came across one titled 'Only the Lonely', link below.
As I sit here alone in my empty house, I sit here and I try to fill
the hours by going through all my forms of social media. It has been some time
since I broke up with the Mr. and I am still trying to figure things out, he is
not making it easy as he has gone MIA. I have not heard from him, despite my
reaching out to him to try to sort things out. I may get the odd text here and
there letting me know that he is stopping by the house but that is about it. My
questions about selling the house, picking other things up and the dogs have
all gone unanswered. I thought that the break-up might actually be handled in a
more mature fashion but it turns out that he has decided to retreat to his
parent’s cottage and stay silent. I can totally understand why and have pretty
much concluded that I will be handling just about everything by myself. Part of
me does not see that as too much of a problem though as I will not get push
back from him and can make the decisions myself. I guess it is just a matter of
starting the process of sorting, packing and labeling.
My post however is not about him and his lack of
involvement; it is about how my previous post back in February conveyed the
feeling of me being lonely despite being in a relationship. Looking back on it
now, I can see that yes, I was lonely and not getting the support I needed from
the person who was suppose to be closest to me. I chalked it up to my lack of
friends but in reality, it was because I really was alone, despite my
relationship status. I had no support, I had no guidance, and I had nothing. I
was going through some significant changes at this point in my life and was
questioning some things all the while I was doing it alone. He may have been
there physically but he was not there for me emotionally and mentally. How
could I not have recognized this? I guess that we look for a quick fix and
reason of why we are feeling the way we feel. We sometimes don’t always want to
face what we know is right in front of us, so we think of something else to
avoid having to face the problem.
I look back at that post and think “Wow, I was feeling
totally sh*tty”. However, I guess I had to go through those feelings to get
where I am. I realize my posts going forward will have some emotion to them as
I am still reeling from the break-up and most likely will for a while. As I
said when I began this post, I am filling my time with social media outlets. I
suspect that means I will have a lot to say most of the time. Let’s just hope
it isn’t all negative.
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