Something's Gotta Give

Life has a way of throwing things at ya; it starts to pile up with what seems like no end in sight. Here I sit after another game of softball; and honestly I couldn't hit my way out of a wet paper bag if I tried. I expect so much of myself; the pressures that I put on myself are actually quite high. I take it out on myself if I am not up to par and I try and try and try. I am what one might call persistent; I won't give up because I need to find a solution to why I am doing so badly.

With all that is currently going on in my life; I am not surprised that ball has taken a backseat and my performance level has come down quite a bit. Unfortunately I do not have the time to try and rectify the problem.

With work chomping at the bit, my Uncle being diagnosed with Cancer...diagnosis yet to be determined. My b/f's Uncle currently admitted to the Cross Cancer Institute, the two courses that I am taking part-time, the lack of time that I get to spend with my b/f and last but not least the lack of time I get to spend on myself...something had to give.

Do I feel bad that it was ball that had to give? Yes, I really wish that it would've been something else; how can I continue to play a sport that I am feeling that I cannot perform well at? I ask myself that question every time I am driving out there? I'm sure that my teammates are asking themselves that very same question. How can I not feel bad when I know I am letting the team down???

Luckily there is only one more game left in the season and then one final weekend of playoffs. Am I happy about that? Yes! I am so disappointed with my performance that I feel as though it's starting to take its toll...

But all in all; if ball is the one thing that has to give; I'll let it go and start a new season next year. I mean really I got too much else going on to worry about it.