Friday, July 6, 2007

When one door closes a window opens


The quiet streets on a Thursday morning surprise me; the music in the car soothes me, the anticipation of dropping off the final ties to my past excites me! Here I sit on this peaceful sunny warm morning thinking "…this is it; I'm done!" 30 blocks away sits a piece of my history awaiting the arrival of the pictures that I got from him only a few short days ago. I've copied them, reminiscing throughout the whole process. Thinking to myself "Why didn't I take these?"

As the street numbers increase my heart starts to beat a little faster and the thoughts keep creeping up in my head, all the "What if" questions. Do I listen, yes! Do I enjoy it, no! As I continually get closer I think to myself "I'll just run in, tell the receptionist who they are for and exit out the door." Yeah, that's a good plan…like there was any other? The flutterby's in my belly start to go in overtime; the thoughts in my mind run around like a chicken with its head cut off. I almost start to feel sick; why? I don't know?

I slowly pull into the parking lot with my heart almost racing; I grab the pictures, talk to the receptionist, drop them off and head out the door. Just as planned! I walk to the car at a moderate pace; get in, put on my seatbelt, put the car into gear and I'm off to work. Just - like - that!

I feel the instant relief of now finally 'Cutting all ties'. Not relief that was caused by my own anticipation; but the relief to know that it is now over…no more anything's. How freeing this feeling was; like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Like I could do just about anything; was it the adrenaline talking? Maybe, but it was the feeling of complete and utter freedom that I relished in. "I'm done" I say to myself as a smile slowly creeps across my face, that's it, the final piece.

And as a calm comes over me I can't help but notice the air smelled fresher, the grass looked greener and the future looked brighter!

No comments: