The quiet
streets on a Thursday morning surprise me; the music in the car soothes me, the
anticipation of dropping off the final ties to my past excites me! Here I sit
on this peaceful sunny warm morning thinking "…this is it; I'm done!"
30 blocks away sits a piece of my history awaiting the arrival of the pictures
that I got from him only a few short days ago. I've copied them, reminiscing
throughout the whole process. Thinking to myself "Why didn't I take
these?"
As the street
numbers increase my heart starts to beat a little faster and the thoughts keep
creeping up in my head, all the "What if" questions. Do I listen,
yes! Do I enjoy it, no! As I continually get closer I think to myself
"I'll just run in, tell the receptionist who they are for and exit out the
door." Yeah, that's a good plan…like there was any other? The flutterby's
in my belly start to go in overtime; the thoughts in my mind run around like a
chicken with its head cut off. I almost start to feel sick; why? I don't know?
I slowly pull
into the parking lot with my heart almost racing; I grab the pictures, talk to
the receptionist, drop them off and head out the door. Just as planned! I walk
to the car at a moderate pace; get in, put on my seatbelt, put the car into
gear and I'm off to work. Just - like - that!
I feel the
instant relief of now finally 'Cutting all ties'. Not relief that was caused by
my own anticipation; but the relief to know that it is now over…no more
anything's. How freeing this feeling was; like a weight had been lifted off my
shoulders. Like I could do just about anything; was it the adrenaline talking?
Maybe, but it was the feeling of complete and utter freedom that I relished in.
"I'm done" I say to myself as a smile slowly creeps across my face,
that's it, the final piece.
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