I Forgot What Peace Sounded Like

It’s a beautiful April day and I’m on my way to the lake for a nice quiet weekend. It’s that time of year again where the world is coming out of its winter slumber. The leaves on the trees are all buds and trying their hardest to sprout a leaf. I eagerly hope that one of those little trees will indeed sprout a leaf so that I can witness the awakening of Mother Nature.

I know that we are still a little ways away from the full effects of spring, but secretly I like this time of the year as it’s so quiet as no one has risen from their hibernation. I have the country music playing softly in the background as I take in all of the beauty nature has to offer.

The sun is shining, my phone is shut off, the car is humming along and I continue to sing whilst enjoying the peacefulness that Mother Nature is sharing with me.

A Year Without Resolutions...

Interesting how I am following up with this blog as the one before (January 1, 2011 A Time for Thinking or A Time for Guilt?) seemed so inspiring and positive that you would’ve thought that I would’ve been ‘chomping at the bit’ (so to speak) to make some New Year’s resolutions…however I didn’t.

After showing just how easy it was I wasn’t sure if I even needed to make any resolutions this year. After 25 days of no resolutions, I decided that yes the freedom to not worry about breaking them has been awfully nice. But the feeling of actually sticking to them is even better!

I decided that I would come up with a few resolutions of my own to see if that would motivate me a little more. Oddly enough they were very simple to come up with and somewhat achievable. The first one was to join a gym again, check! The second one was to work out more often, check! The third one was to read one book a month, check!

Once I got the hang of it, it was pretty straight forward and almost inspiring. It’s almost like I needed to have the resolutions in place to motivate me...it’s odd I know but once I got those bad boys down on paper, I actually felt like I was more inspired to complete them.

Once I used my new found knowledge of how to actually make a New Year’s resolution that was actually achievable, I ran away with it. The three resolutions that I have listed are not the only resolutions that I made. In fact I think I made about 8 in total…all realistic and achievable. They are listed below:

• Join a gym
• Workout more often
• Read a book once a month
• Wear a skirt to work once a month
• Keep in touch with family members outside of the province
• Work on my 'To Do' list
• Take more pictures
• Eat less take out food

They seem pretty reasonable and not to narrow, you would think that not having resolutions would be more appealing to me. However here I sit writing them down for all of the world to see, so maybe I will be much more motivated.


So get off your butt and make some resolutions so that we can all be motivated!

A Time for Thinking or A Time for Guilt?

We all know what day this is…this is the day that we go back to look at the New Year’s Resolutions we made last year and feel guilty for all the ones we didn’t keep. We then torture ourselves a little more by adding those same resolutions to this year’s list, insisting that we’ll uphold them this year. Despite not having fulfilled them time and time again we try to fool ourselves into thinking this year will be different.

So why is it we torture ourselves this way? How do we break the cycle? Well there is the obvious, stop making resolutions OR we can make our resolutions realistic. I think if we made the resolutions closer to something we can achieve, we will actually be successful in fulfilling them.

I decided to do just that, I made a resolution that was more realistic. Initially the resolution was ‘get a whole new wardrobe’; I tweaked it to be that I would ‘purchase one new item each month.’ Believe it or not I actually did just that; I think the reason I stuck with it was because I didn’t find the task so daunting. To find one classic piece of clothing to add to my wardrobe really wasn’t that hard.

I found that if I made the task smaller, it didn’t seem completely unattainable. This tiny task has helped me to get closer to my overall goal. This is how I think that we all should make resolutions; we might actually follow through with most of them. I think if I continue to make my resolutions like this I will continue to feel a sense of accomplishment.

I’m almost excited to get started on this year’s resolutions!!

Missing a Part of Me

I’m on my way home from another great visit with my cousins who reside in BC. I have to tell you that every time I leave I feel like I’m leaving a part of me there.

I had the pleasure of reacquainting myself with some older cousins when I was 24 and ever since then we’ve been inseparable. We were all at a family member’s funeral and I had the unfortunate task of organizing the whole thing. Luckily the cousins from BC came down to help out as much as they could. After what felt like our first introduction we were in very tight quarters on very little sleep. This led to many late night conversations of not only getting to know each other but also understanding each other. We continued to do this for 7 days and as the days carried on and our ‘to do’ lists got shorter we knew we were fast approaching the funeral and our time together would soon be coming to an end.

Ever since then I go to BC about 2-3 times a year and we always have such a blast. We try to do as much as we possibly can in the short time that I am there visiting, I just love the family atmosphere. Despite the time of year that I go down there we somehow find a way for all of us to get together almost every night and have dinner and catch up and just be with each other. I love that!

I don’t have that same connection with my cousins out here which is why I feel very sad when I leave there. I wish that we lived closer together so that I could experience that feeling of closeness every single day of my life. Oh sure, we talk on the phone, email and text but it just isn’t the same as actually being there.

Hence the reason that I feel as though I am leaving a part of me behind when I leave. I know that I can always go there to visit and feel like that any time that I want to, I just wish we were closer together. Driving 8 hours one way is a little daunting but I will do it just to be able to share that same feeling with my cousins out there. 

Those Were the Days...

I just dropped my mom off at home on a nice warm fall day, I had the windows down taking in the last bit of nice weather until Old Man Winter decided to come.

I happened to hear some children screaming, in a good way coming in through the passenger side window. I immediately looked over and there to my right was a school playground. There were children everywhere screaming, chasing each other, and taking turns on the merry-go-round. I sat there and thought; wow I wish I could be so carefree and not have a care in the world.

I recalled my childhood memories in elementary school, when the bell would ring for recess and it was a race to the playground. At that moment all we cared about was who was "it", who could go the fastest and who could go the highest. We didn’t care about all the adult things that come as we continue to age. We were just so present in that moment and didn’t have a care in the world.

I sometimes think that we should go to that ‘happy place’ every now and again. It would give us a nice break from the hectic-ness that we all call life. I don’t suggest we go there all the time, just sometimes when we need to just feel free of all our worries. I mean we are still adults and have responsibilities to take care of; it would just be a nice break from reality is all.

As I sit there lost in thought, the school bell rings signaling the end of recess. The kids all go back to class and I pull away with the fondest memories of living in the carefree days of being a kid…

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

I was following someone with Ontario license plates through the Jasper National Park today. I abruptly had to jam on the brakes as my ‘lead car’ stopped to pull out their camera to take a picture or two of the mountain goats that were crossing the highway. At first I was a little bit upset but then chuckled as I realized that this occurrence doesn’t happen for these folks on a regular basis.

I forget that for the thirtieth time this summer, I am forced to trek through the majestic Rockies in order to get to my final destination. I seem to have forgotten the splendor that these large tectonic plates provide to each person. I am unfazed by the true beauty that these ‘ladies’ possess.

I remember driving through the Rockies for the first time; my breath was literally taken away. I couldn’t believe the sheer size of the mountains and that there was so much beauty just waiting to be discovered. I contemplated how long they’d be there and just what had to happen to make them the size that they are. I wonder about all of the wildlife that exists deep in the forest of trees that grow as cover for the mountains. I wondered if dinosaurs were still around, how they would compare in size. Would it just be a quick little jaunt for a T-Rex? Would the valleys be comparable to a brontosaurus? I think at this point I am more in awe of the size of these things and try to find some sort of comparison so that I can understand just how large these things are.

I continue to drive and pass by a lake or two; I try to think of a name for the deep but transparent colour of green that is sitting at the base of the mountain waiting for a bird to make its nest here. It’s not quite emerald, but it’s not hunter green either…I call it ‘Mountain’ green. Because there is no other colour like it and how can you describe something so beautiful to someone who’s never seen it before.

As I keep actually looking at the mountains and all their majesty I start to think that maybe that tourist was right after all and we shouldn’t take for granted the beauty that the mountains hold. Instead of grumbling about the animals crossing the highway and adding another 15 minutes to our trip; we should be taking in all that the mountains have to offer. After all not everyone gets to see such a beautiful sight on an eight hour journey multiple times a year.

Freedom?

Today I watched my cousin graduate high school; I watched her walk across the stage and accept her diploma. All the while she was smiling and giddy; just like any graduate should be. I remember ‘back in the day’ when I myself walked across a very similar stage to accept my high school diploma. I remember the feeling of ‘being done’, not having to worry about taking another class or getting up early. I could sleep in and not have to follow anyone else’s’ rules. Honestly I didn’t know where to begin and it was all that I could do to get started in ‘The Real World.’ I could see that same look on her face; all of the anticipation that life has to offer.

I didn’t want to burst her bubble and let her know that ‘The Real World’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We think of all of the things that we can do now that we don’t have anyone to answer to anyone anymore. We think we are actually ‘Free’; oh sure we’re free from having to get up in the mornings. We’re free from having to hand in assignments; we’re free from explaining why we have so many tardiness’s. But really we have to think about where we are going to go now in life…that is a much bigger responsibility than just going to school.

For some people this comes naturally as they have always wanted to be something, then it’s easy just head to school for ‘said’ knowledge. But for others this doesn’t come as naturally, they may struggle until they find something that interests them. Either way this requires a lot of work, not only in school but in life as well. Then we come to realize that all that ‘found freedom’ really isn’t freedom at all and that being in school wasn’t so bad. We realize that in order to get things, it’s up to me to get them. I really don’t have the ‘freedom’ to just ignore something I have to address it.

As time goes on the real ‘freedom’ that we seek is to know that we’re happy in our lives and happy in our jobs and knowing that I can make a decision regarding anything in my life without having to be told. That is the true ‘freedom’ that we seek…

So for now, I will stand here and clap for her remembering that I too had that giddy face and really didn’t know what the world had in store for me. I hope that she finds her freedom before too long and can be standing in the same spot that I’m in 15 years from now watching her cousin graduate high school.