I Finally Found Him!

I Finally Found Him!

April 11, 2014

It always amazes me what death does to the people around it, some people go crazy and relive their youth, some people do a lot of soul searching…I believe I am one of the latter folks. Since my mom passed away, I have been doing some serious thinking and overall reflecting about what I want in life. The first thing that came to my mind was a family; I hadn’t found the person that I wanted to have children with…that is until now.

I had given up on finding love after my last relationship; I thought I was doomed to live the life of a spinster, who inherits everyone’s cats. I had come to terms with that fact and just worked on myself after I ended my relationship in 2012. I had decided against dating but somehow got roped into a few blind dates here and there. Nothing ever panned out as I had it in my mind that I was going to give myself some time to grieve my old relationship and better myself.

I managed to stay single and happy for 11 months, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I enjoyed my time alone and enjoyed working around my schedule and no one else’s. I had met my new Mr. at a slo-pitch tournament. We had hit it off and decided that we both didn’t want a relationship; in fact, we both agreed that we could be friends with benefits. There were some ground rules that we had put into place and we abided by them to the letter.

We enjoyed each other’s company and as time went on, we had really started to develop feelings for one another. I was discussing this with a co-worker and had come to the conclusion that I was going to end things. I found that our age difference would eventually play a part in the demise of our relationship and figured that I would make the first move at ending it.

I met with him, we started to talk, and as we continued to talk, we discovered that we both had some pretty deep feeling for each other. Our arrangement had turned into a full-fledged relationship, without our knowledge. How had this happened? We both don’t know and we didn’t need an answer, as we were content with what we had.

We decided that the best thing to do was to give it a try and see where it takes us. So far, it’s been really good and really easy. We both agreed that if a relationship is easy, that’s not a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy; we have our moments. However, we communicate through them and we continue to make each other happy and that is why I know that I’ve found him, as I want to make it work. I want to be happy and most of all, I want to have kids with him. I have never said that about any other man that I’ve been in a relationship with; I just found myself saying that I didn’t want kids. Yet, here I sit…after all, of my breakups and heartache; I am with someone that I want to have children with.

I sometimes wonder if this is how it was suppose to turn out for me. I know that everything happens for a reason and timing is everything. I didn’t have kids young, I waited. I didn’t get married when I was suppose to, I’m still waiting. I didn’t do things the way I was suppose according to society…but you know what? I’m happier that I didn’t and happier that I am the one who gets to choose what I want to do with my life. In the end, my journey is over because I found him.