Do You Know What Your Dream Is?

I was watching television the other day when a commercial came on that had this little green box on it. You were supposed to reach into it and ‘your dream’ would show up for you…it could be a dream job, or retirement or helping a family member.

This got me to thinking, if given the opportunity would I know what my dream is? I can tell you that I thought long and hard about this one and to my surprise I couldn’t think of what it would be.

Then I started to wonder if anyone else would know what ‘their dream’ would be. I asked a few colleagues and a few friends and they answered me pretty darn quickly. I will admit I was surprised to hear them know exactly what they wanted. I asked the Mr. and he too also knew what he would do if given the opportunity…so why couldn’t I think of anything? Why was this task so hard for me?

As I continued to try and contemplate what my ‘dream’ would be I wondered if the fact that I am a very selfless person has anything to do with it. I am my mother’s primary care giver; I am the oldest child in the family…thereby ‘granting’ me (I am joking) the privilege of taking care of my younger siblings. I have been taking care of my family for as long as I can remember so me not knowing what I wanted to do for me really shouldn’t come as a shock to me.

I pondered this thought and have since convinced myself that this (selflessness) is why I don’t know what ‘my dream’ would be. I have never really taken care of myself and to this day still kind of don’t. I have improved to the point where I do take a few mental days here and there but again nothing substantial.

So can I get out of being this selfless person? Currently, no…like I said I take care of my mom who is more reliant on me than my other siblings. So I’m pretty much stuck like this until either she passes away (god forbid that happen) or she actually becomes self-reliant. She’s past the point where she can be so I’m pretty much stuck in this cycle.

So for now I will continue to watch these commercials and wonder if I will ever get to the point of knowing what ‘my dream’ is.