Sad to see you go

Sad to see you go

October 17, 2017

I was saddened to hear that Sears had announced that it’s starting to liquidate it’s stock, the final nail in the coffin. The media had made it sound like there might have been hope for Sears to recover initially but sadly that wasn’t the case. A pang of sadness passed through me as I explained in one of my earlier blogs that I had worked there and it was a very big help for me financially and emotionally.

I enjoyed the time I worked there, the people and the atmosphere. Not only was I an employee there but I also shopped there. I shopped there on a regular basis, not only when I worked there but afterwards.

But the biggest thing that I use to look forward to from Sears was the ‘Wishbook’. I don’t think that I was alone in this. I would eagerly wait to get the Wishbook each and every fall, not only as a kid but as an adult. There was always something I could order in the catalogue that was only specific to the holiday season. It was something that wasn’t in rotation throughout the year and wasn’t overly priced. There was always so much to see and no matter how many times you went through the Wishbook you would still peruse through it again and again.

As a kid I would mark the pages and circle the items that I wanted or ‘wished’ to get. I can totally understand why it was called a Wishbook…I think that is what I will miss the most when Sears is gone.

I don’t know what will ever replace that as online shopping just isn’t the same. I feel like I’m getting so old as a lot of the things that I use to find as part of my generations lives are disappearing. I just wish we weren’t losing the Wishbook.

Ella you little bitch

Ella you little bitch!

October 5, 2017

After the boys went to sleep the Mr. and I were sitting down to relax before we hit the hay as well and the cat that I inherited from my mom decided to come down for some pets. She made her way to the Mr. but just as he was about to pet her she ran away. The Mr. looked at her and said “Ella, you little bitch”. I stopped dead in my tracks, as that is exactly what my mom use to call her cat.

The reason that it caught me by surprise was that yes that is verbatim what my mom use to call her. Not only that the Mr. never met my mom, ever. He never had the opportunity to meet her or see with her cat, that is why it surprised me and stopped me dead in my tracks.

I found it funny that the Mr. would call her that and I decided to ask him why he called her that and his response was pretty simple. “Because she is a little bitch”. I remember back in the day I had asked my mom the same question and oddly enough she said the same thing. How odd that these two people who never met but have me and this cat in common have come to the same conclusion about this cat.

I know that it’s an odd thing but something that happened to catch my attention at the time it happened. Despite my mom never meeting the Mr. this just makes me feel like I made the right decision that they both had the same sick sense of humour. I think she would’ve liked him and sometimes I wonder if she’s secretly sending messages through him.

Weird yes, unexpected, no. In the end, Ella really is a little bitch and I like that she’s kept that name even though my mom is gone. I know my mom would be happy that her cat is happy and is still her ‘little bitch’.

This use to be someone's home

This use to be someone’s home

September 24, 2017

I drove by this house today on my way to a suburb just outside Edmonton and I passed a house well what use to be a homestead. The house had a detached garage and was just off the main highway, in a great location for one of the acreages just outside of the city.

Problem is that was all great and dandy back in the day however with the way the city and infrastructure has grown. It’s now a car lot, it’s housing hundreds of cars. There are cars as far as the eye can see, you can’t even get into the house or garage.

Not that it matters as the house itself is boarded up but still has the beautiful wrap around porch intact. I imagined back in the day it housed a family and had a wonderful view, that the family would play, rest or possibly just sit on a rocking chair and reminisce about all that has happened. How great of a spot they have there and just how proud they would’ve been of all that they have accomplished.

But now, it sits boarded up, vacant and just a memory of a family lived there. It makes me sad to see this, don’t get me wrong I understand that we must move forward with the times and the growth of the city. But to buy someone’s homestead and just have it sit, is just a constant reminder to that family that it no longer exists as a home but as a car lot.

Not sure that I can get behind that kind of change.

What's a CD?

What’s a CD?

September 14, 2017

So I like everyone else in the world has satellite radio, if you don’t I’m sorry to hear this as I can’t stand commercials and too much talking. I subscribed to the service years ago, I can’t even remember when but I can tell you it’s been worth every penny and I absolutely love it.

Today after I dropped my kids off at daycare I was switching channels as I couldn’t find anything to listen to. It was odd but all the songs on all of my favourite channels were terrible and I couldn’t find anything to land on.

After a few minutes of sitting at a red light I took a gander into my console and saw that I had a couple of rogue CD’s in there and I decided to put one of them in as I liked all the songs on them and wanted something I could sing along to and enjoy.

I took it out of the case and popped it into the CD player in my vehicle and let it start to play. To my surprise I started to listen to the CD and sing along with most of the songs and just had such a great time that I had forgotten what it was like to pop a CD into a CD player. In fact I had noticed that having a CD player in your vehicle is an option now, not a standard. I remember when having a CD player was the option and regular AM/FM radio was the standard. When did all this change?

I like having the option of playing my CD, I’m sure like most people I would burn CD’s to play in the car…these burned CD’s replaced our mixed tapes…yes I come from that generation. We have truly come a long way.

I know that I could just plug my phone in and use Deezer or Spotify or any of the new music hubs. But I like having control of the music I listen to, yes again I know I can create playlists on any on my multiple devices but what happened to what you get is what you get? I miss those days.

I ended up popping in my favourite CD, it was Maroon 5, Songs About Jane. I remember listening to this CD over and over and over again, it is my favourite CD. I didn’t know all the songs when I first bought it but I learned them and learned to enjoy them. I sometimes miss the good old days when things were much simpler. Less choices made things less complicated.

For now, I will enjoy my CD while I can as my next vehicle might not come with it and that will be a sad day for me as I will then have to keep up with my playlists. That in itself is a lot of work. How are all these things of convenience suppose to make life better when all it does is create more work for us?

To friend or not to friend, that is the question

To friend or not to friend, that is the question

September 7, 2017

Today I went out for lunch with my friend who I had written about who were friends with ‘the enemy’. One was on my side as she was one of the ones who had talked to me about the situation and the other one was the completely oblivious one to the sneaky and devilish ways of the enemy.

I wasn’t sure how it was going to go but thought I would bring it up and just throw all my cards out on the table. We sat down to lunch and ordered our food and drinks, did the normal pleasantries and then I brought it up.

I said to both of them that I didn’t want to interfere with their relationship with the enemy and that I am totally fine with them being her friend and besides this time I won’t be bringing her up or asking about her or anything. I know she asked about me but this wasn’t the time to bring that up. I just asked for the same respect back is all.

There was about a millisecond of a pause and the woman who is completely oblivious to the enemies wily ways wasn’t as receptive as I thought she would be. She became defensive and started to say that ‘she never said anything about me to her’ (which I know isn't true, but I let it slide) and she seemed as though she really wanted to get off the topic of it. The other woman who is on my side understood and definitely tried to help me explain things to her but the oblivious friend then turned aloof about the whole thing and we just switched gears.

That was when I saw it, she was sticking up for the enemy and this was the end of our friendship. I had let things go for too long and they were good friends and there wasn’t anything I could say or so to change that. It sucks when you can see these things happening and it kind of made me sad to know that it was over between us but I guess that was it. She had made up her mind and that was that, she had made her choice and I will respect it.

We finished our lunch together chatting about my kids and their kids and grandkids, plans for the summer and all those other things you talk to people about when you’re trying to fill the void of dead air. Once lunch was done, we said our goodbye’s and said we would make another plan to go out for lunch but knew that it was just talk.

I will miss my one friend as she was fun to be around, such a kindhearted and giving person and we had some good times together. I will always remember that about her...

I did end up with one friend out of the situation and I will continue to chat and make time for her as she really does genuinely want to be my friend and that’s all that matters. It just sucks that it’s over with one friend, but I will move on and maybe in time we will reconnect. For now I will respect her wishes and step back.

I Miss my Friends

I Miss my Friends

August 29, 2017

I was missing my friends when I was on maternity leave, just a specific few of them…but I had let it slide because I knew that we were in different stages of life. These gals were a good 15 years older than me and while I’m having my kids, their having grandkids. So I let it slide and then started to notice that my arch 'enemy' had somehow wormed her way back in with my select friends.

I had let it slide as I assumed it would be a fad and when she was done with them that she was going to move on to greener pastures like she normally does. That didn’t seem to be the case in this situation. Oddly though I had two of my friends approach me and tell me that they too missed me and that “it just wasn’t the same without me”. They also pinpointed my absence to the enemy and both had a similar opinion of her that wasn’t that stellar.

I had confirmed that the enemy was indeed like that and I thought she might’ve changed as time has gone on but I can’t speak to that as I haven’t talked to her in roughly 10 years. But it was definitely interesting to see that both of these ladies could see through the enemy’s façade but I couldn’t understand why the one friend couldn’t see it.

I was completely honest with both of these ladies and told them how I felt and how I would respect their time with the enemy. I decided to just take a step back and see where things go from here. I know in time the enemy will do something stupid and reveal her true colours but I don’t know how long it will be before that happens. Part of me wants it to happen sooner rather than later but karma doesn’t usually work that fast…not for me anyhow.

I also looked at it without callous and in a mature fashion that part of it was my fault that I was a new mom and wasn’t able to have the same friendship with them that I had before…but I also realized that it was a two sided coin. They could’ve made the effort as well as I did invite them to the baby shower and the boys’ first birthday…they just chose not to come. I guess I just decided that it was a time thing and we just drifted apart and maybe if it’s meant to be that we will somehow come back together.

If not, it was good while it lasted and we had some fun times and I will cherish those memories forever. They will always be a part of my life, whether it’s current, past or present.

You Gotta Be...

You Gotta Be…

August 25, 2017

I heard Des’ree singing this song today on the radio and it reminded me of my brother and sister graduating elementary school. My brother was held back a year so despite my brother and sister being a year apart they graduated elementary school at the same time.

For their graduation the teacher had put together a slideshow of her class of the memories throughout the school year.  It was playing to the song ‘You Gotta Be’ by Des’ree and the slideshow ended with a picture of my brother and sister hugging each other. I was videotaping the momentous event with my uncle’s videorecorder…the thing was huge and so heavy.

I remember taping the slideshow and as the song was coming to an end and my brother and sister’s picture was on the screen I cried. I was so touched by the gesture that the teacher had put together for her class and seeing both of them in that picture just made me so happy.

My brother was the valedictorian and gave a wonderful speech about moving forward with the next chapter of their lives and all I could think was ‘Yes, this is the next step to your future’. My how far we’ve come.

Every time I hear that song, I think of my kid sister and kid brother. About them graduating elementary school and just how far they’ve come in their lives. I hope that they want to continue to move ahead in life and keep making good decisions.

I will always associate this song with them and always wish all the lyrics in the song for them.