To friend or not to friend, that is the question

To friend or not to friend, that is the question

September 7, 2017

Today I went out for lunch with my friend who I had written about who were friends with ‘the enemy’. One was on my side as she was one of the ones who had talked to me about the situation and the other one was the completely oblivious one to the sneaky and devilish ways of the enemy.

I wasn’t sure how it was going to go but thought I would bring it up and just throw all my cards out on the table. We sat down to lunch and ordered our food and drinks, did the normal pleasantries and then I brought it up.

I said to both of them that I didn’t want to interfere with their relationship with the enemy and that I am totally fine with them being her friend and besides this time I won’t be bringing her up or asking about her or anything. I know she asked about me but this wasn’t the time to bring that up. I just asked for the same respect back is all.

There was about a millisecond of a pause and the woman who is completely oblivious to the enemies wily ways wasn’t as receptive as I thought she would be. She became defensive and started to say that ‘she never said anything about me to her’ (which I know isn't true, but I let it slide) and she seemed as though she really wanted to get off the topic of it. The other woman who is on my side understood and definitely tried to help me explain things to her but the oblivious friend then turned aloof about the whole thing and we just switched gears.

That was when I saw it, she was sticking up for the enemy and this was the end of our friendship. I had let things go for too long and they were good friends and there wasn’t anything I could say or so to change that. It sucks when you can see these things happening and it kind of made me sad to know that it was over between us but I guess that was it. She had made up her mind and that was that, she had made her choice and I will respect it.

We finished our lunch together chatting about my kids and their kids and grandkids, plans for the summer and all those other things you talk to people about when you’re trying to fill the void of dead air. Once lunch was done, we said our goodbye’s and said we would make another plan to go out for lunch but knew that it was just talk.

I will miss my one friend as she was fun to be around, such a kindhearted and giving person and we had some good times together. I will always remember that about her...

I did end up with one friend out of the situation and I will continue to chat and make time for her as she really does genuinely want to be my friend and that’s all that matters. It just sucks that it’s over with one friend, but I will move on and maybe in time we will reconnect. For now I will respect her wishes and step back.