Art really does imitate life

                            Art really does imitate life

I watched a show today and was thrown for a complete loop as there was a scene in there where a woman goes to visit an elderly woman in a health care facility. I was immediately transported back to when I use to go and visit my mom everyday. I swear that could've been me walking in to see that woman. I would go to feed her supper everyday as she had limited mobility of her hands and had a hard time with it.

I saw this scene and immediately started to cry, I wasn't able to control the crying let alone know what the heck was going on in the show. It was a scene that I had lived for so many years and to see it on TV really just surprised me. 

I thought of my mom, and how much I miss her...still. How I feel like sometimes I am not able to remember all the details of our time together. I know that the good memories for sure stick out in my mind. But some of the bad details I've pushed aside or simply forgotten. I know that my life has me running from pillar to post and it's all I can do to keep up with it. But I don't ever want to forget those times, those memories...good or bad. Those are the things that help me get through the times when I'm really missing my mom. When she use to laugh or when she use to cry...they're all memories of my mama. 

Looking back on things, I'm like the typical person who always thinks "could I have done more"? I really don't know that I could've done more, it's taken me many years to get closer to this conclusion. I did my best at the time and I did what I could...I know she was grateful for that and for the time we spent together in her final years. 

They were trying at times and definitely not for the weak. I think it made me a stronger person and also helped to instill certain things in me that most people my age don't do. It helped me to cherish ALL the time and moments that I have with my kids and to just always do the right thing. I want them to be good people like my mom was and like I am. Of course I know they'll falter but I know that they're going to be good people...that is something they are going to get from my mom.