First year back to work as a mom

First year back to work as a mom, how did that go for you?

May 1, 2018

                 A year ago today I was eager to arrive and get some "normalcy" back into my life. How is it a year has come and gone already? Well funny you should ask, I will have to say that most of my time is devoted to keeping my children alive and the other 10% of my day is left for work (full time), cooking, cleaning and basically making sure the house doesn't collapse on us.

Holy hell was I naive to think that working full time and raising twin boys wouldn't be "that much harder than before". I had the idea that the boys might actually  get on a schedule, ha ha. They might sleep through the night, LOL. Or possibly stay healthy and you know, ease their way through every new challenge we would face together...bahahahahaha. I know, even saying it now makes me laugh...all those other  moms of multiple children (twins or not) are rolling on the floor laughing at me. 

Don't get me wrong, I knew there would be challenges but my oh my was there a lot thrown my way my first year back to work. Not only did I have to deal with the scheduling and organizing...which still seems like a mess. I also got to deal with illnesses and teething, these two things were the bulk of my time. I have one little guy who had 12 teeth by the time he was 9 months old...and the fevers that came with them were fierce. When he was 1 he had almost all 20 teeth, which seems like a lot to me...but I guess it happens. 

I missed a lot of work to stay home with my kids, which wasn't terrible but it made for a lot of sleepless nights and long days. I couldn't seem to get myself back into a routine as it would be changed within a week or two and it started to just get annoying. I was scared to make plans with anyone to do anything as I knew if I said it out loud, my plans would quickly be broken. I was honestly starting to feel overwhelmed and I wondered how in the world other people do it. 

I knew that people have been doing it for years and years and will continue to do it for years and years. It was like I discovered a whole different group of people who were sleep deprived, couldn't make sense of anything and were basically walking zombies. I mean don't get me wrong, I knew kids tired you out and took up a lot of your time. I guess I just thought once they got over the eating every three hours stage, they would sleep through the night without any issues. They would adhere and fall into the schedule at hand, instead of making you  fall into line with their schedule. I know, I must've been living under a rock or something to think I had some control over anything. I think that was my optimism shining through as a first time mom. I was hoping things would be a little smoother for me as I was blessed with two babies at once. 

For the most part things are good and straightforward, I honestly can't complain. I mean there are so many other children out there suffering with terminal illnesses, mental health issues and also disabilities. I honestly do thank the good lord for giving me healthy, smart and well rounded children. I guess sometimes I give myself a false sense that things won't get as affected by the babes as they have been. I don't know why as I have two siblings and I babysat my entire life, so I know what kids come with. 

I guess for so long in my life I wasn't affected by anyone's schedule but my own...and my mom's when I was taking care of her. But again I was able to escape back home once I took care of her needs. I could curl up on the sofa and just sleep away my worries or cares, now I'm lucky if I get a solid 6 hours. Again just something new to me and I guess it's just me who is adjusting...

Despite my whining, I wouldn't trade it for the world. For the most part, we are over the 40 degree fevers that would last 4 days. The boys are sleeping through the night, for the most part. I get the odd wake up at 5 AM but that isn't too far off from the time I get up. They've been feeding themselves for quite some time now. They help clean up after we make a mess playing, they talk and comprehend things that we are telling them. They are both smart as a whip and they're just the cutest little things you will ever see. 

Have I gotten back into a schedule or a routine with them, no. Have I figured out the secret to making it all work as a working mother, no. Am I getting enough sleep, no. Am I getting enough done at work, no. But these are all things that I can continue to work on and I know one day, things won't be so hard. I know that one day, they're going to grow up and not need me as much. I know until that time comes, I will continue to grin and bear it and will enjoy the time we have together as they honestly are growing so fast. 

So to answer the question, how did my first year back to work as a mom go? Well, let's just say it's a work in progress.