Jealous
Again
December 17, 2017
My cousins daughter in law posted her maternity photos
today and as beautiful as they were I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy
and hurt. Don’t get me wrong she was beautiful and I was super happy for her
but I just have visions of the ones I didn’t get done.
I had them scheduled and was prepared to go out in the
cold and have them done…problem was both the photographer and I cancelled as
the weather was so terrible. The next day my babes wanted to join us in the
outside world. They didn’t want to wait the few extra weeks they were suppose
to, they wanted to be with us.
As much as I loved seeing my babies and cuddling them
and holding them…I still wished that I had gotten some maternity photos done. I
wished that I had even taken more pictures of myself and my baby bump. I wished
that I had more of a record…
I know that I can’t go back in time but just this once
I wish that I could. I know when I was pregnant I felt like every woman, huge
and disgusting. I know it’s a weird thing that we women go through. We are
taught our whole lives that skinny is what we want to be and for the majority
of our lives we are. Then we get pregnant and fat, huge even. To us this is
when we feel at our worst, we can’t fully appreciate the miracle of child
rearing until we’ve gone through it once. But by then it’s too late, all those
memories that we wanted to capture are long gone and we can never get them
back.
I wished that I had a friend who would’ve told me all
this so that I wouldn’t have been late to the party and had this regret. I
think I’m taking it especially hard are I don’t have regrets in my life and
this one is a pretty big one to have.
Maybe one day I’ll get over it but for now, that time
ain’t happening anytime soon.
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