Seeing my mom in my auntie

Seeing my mom in my Auntie

July 24, 2017

I saw my auntie today as we were visiting my cousins in BC, I almost started to cry when I saw her. Not only does she look a lot like my mom but her hands were all crippled up like my mom’s were and it took me back to my mom being in the hospital. I know that I teared up and almost started to bawl like a baby but somehow held it together.

I went over and sat with her and just listened to what she had to say. As she told me stories I would steal glimpses of her hands, her feet and her knees. Those particular joints seemed to stand out to me the most as those were the ones that affected my mom.

I would grab her hands and feel them and ask her if she was in pain, she said no but I knew better. I could feel the warmth through her skin and knew that they were inflamed and there wasn’t anything I could do for her to make her feel better.

I remember my mom telling me stories as she was in the hospital about how she would rub her mom’s hands and I think I did the same thing to her as she was in the hospital. It’s a weird thing to do I know but it made me feel closer to my mom by rubbing my aunt’s hands.

I listened intently to her stories, even though I had heard them a million times. I introduced her to my kids. She was happy and she almost teared up as I suppose no one thought that I was going to have babies and probably because she knew my mom would’ve been happy to have them…so it was an all around teary day. We had a little moment between us sitting in the corner just listening to each other and just being overall happy.

Despite seeing my aunt like that I couldn’t help but be taken back to my mom. Oh how I wish she was here. To see my kids, to see me, to help me with my babes. It’s moments like this that I miss her the most.