Seeing
my mom in my Auntie
July 24, 2017
I saw my auntie today as we were visiting my cousins in
BC, I almost started to cry when I saw her. Not only does she look a lot like
my mom but her hands were all crippled up like my mom’s were and it took me
back to my mom being in the hospital. I know that I teared up and almost
started to bawl like a baby but somehow held it together.
I went over and sat with her and just listened to what
she had to say. As she told me stories I would steal glimpses of her hands, her
feet and her knees. Those particular joints seemed to stand out to me the most
as those were the ones that affected my mom.
I would grab her hands and feel them and ask her if she
was in pain, she said no but I knew better. I could feel the warmth through her
skin and knew that they were inflamed and there wasn’t anything I could do for
her to make her feel better.
I remember my mom telling me stories as she was in the
hospital about how she would rub her mom’s hands and I think I did the same
thing to her as she was in the hospital. It’s a weird thing to do I know but it
made me feel closer to my mom by rubbing my aunt’s hands.
I listened intently to her stories, even though I had
heard them a million times. I introduced her to my kids. She was happy and she
almost teared up as I suppose no one thought that I was going to have babies
and probably because she knew my mom would’ve been happy to have them…so it was
an all around teary day. We had a little moment between us sitting in the
corner just listening to each other and just being overall happy.
Despite seeing my aunt like that I couldn’t help but be
taken back to my mom. Oh how I wish she was here. To see my kids, to see me, to
help me with my babes. It’s moments like this that I miss her the most.
