Back to Work

Back to Work

May 1, 2017

As I walked into the quiet and deserted office with my bags in tow and tea in my hand ready to tackle to day. I made my way to my office and stopped before I entered to have a look around to see what had changed in the time I was gone. It’s funny as I had only been gone for 15 months but it felt like an eternity.

I noticed that I had a large video screen in my office taking up space, a 34” monitor that just seemed too huge to be real and all my shoes had been piled into a box beside my desk. Turns out that one of our resident contractors had made residence in my office while I was off having babies. I didn’t mind one bit as I like the guy and he really hadn’t done too much to change anything. I put my laptop in it’s docking station and I thought a quick start up was going to happen but apparently the computer needed to complete oh about 100 updates. That left me with a little time to re-organize and clean up my office. It was nice to get there before everyone had arrived so that I could get settled and get everything how I wanted it.

It didn’t take long before people were arriving welcoming me back and have the idle chit chat that you have when someone has been away for awhile. It was nice to catch up with everyone and be back in the loop. I had so many questions about what I had missed, who’s gone, who’s still here, what projects are we working on, things like that. I wasn’t sure what I was going to be coming back to and how I was going to integrate myself back into ‘Working Mom’ mode but it seems to have been a good first day back.

I had some good conversations, good plans, decisions I needed to make and most of all I had some alone time to just be with not only my thoughts and ideas but also to have some complete and utter silence. I realized I missed that and despite me being a little nervous about being back to work it all turned out ok. I missed the adult conversation, I missed being able to talk and have someone listen to me and most of all I missed having a hot lunch.

Even though it’s a scary thing to return to work after 15 months away, I think I needed it for my littles but also for me. I was getting burnt out before I left and it was getting to be a little much. I got just the right amount of time off to make sure my littles were in good hands and ok with me leaving them all day. It’s something new to me but in time I know get all the kinks worked out and possibly get back to where I was before I left for work, or at least something close to what I was.

I spent most of my life working so I couldn’t imagine not going back. I enjoy the people, the time to myself and the responsibility of the job. I might not be able to do as good of a job as I did before but I sure as heck going to try. I never in a million years thought I would look forward to going to work but I do. I think for me to be a better mom for my boys I need that constant that has been in my life for well over 20 years. Like I said, I may not be the same person I was when I left but I’m going to try and be close to that same person as I can. I know things will be different and my time commitments aren’t going to be the same but I can work with what I have and see what I end up with. Fingers crossed work isn’t so hard to incorporate in my new life of motherhood.