Back
to Work
May 1, 2017
As I walked into the quiet and deserted office with my
bags in tow and tea in my hand ready to tackle to day. I made my way to my
office and stopped before I entered to have a look around to see what had
changed in the time I was gone. It’s funny as I had only been gone for 15
months but it felt like an eternity.
I noticed that I had a large video screen in my office
taking up space, a 34” monitor that just seemed too huge to be real and all my
shoes had been piled into a box beside my desk. Turns out that one of our
resident contractors had made residence in my office while I was off having
babies. I didn’t mind one bit as I like the guy and he really hadn’t done too
much to change anything. I put my laptop in it’s docking station and I thought
a quick start up was going to happen but apparently the computer needed to
complete oh about 100 updates. That left me with a little time to re-organize
and clean up my office. It was nice to get there before everyone had arrived so
that I could get settled and get everything how I wanted it.
It didn’t take long before people were arriving
welcoming me back and have the idle chit chat that you have when someone has
been away for awhile. It was nice to catch up with everyone and be back in the
loop. I had so many questions about what I had missed, who’s gone, who’s still
here, what projects are we working on, things like that. I wasn’t sure what I
was going to be coming back to and how I was going to integrate myself back
into ‘Working Mom’ mode but it seems to have been a good first day back.
I had some good conversations, good plans, decisions I
needed to make and most of all I had some alone time to just be with not only
my thoughts and ideas but also to have some complete and utter silence. I
realized I missed that and despite me being a little nervous about being back
to work it all turned out ok. I missed the adult conversation, I missed being
able to talk and have someone listen to me and most of all I missed having a
hot lunch.
Even though it’s a scary thing to return to work after
15 months away, I think I needed it for my littles but also for me. I was
getting burnt out before I left and it was getting to be a little much. I got
just the right amount of time off to make sure my littles were in good hands
and ok with me leaving them all day. It’s something new to me but in time I
know get all the kinks worked out and possibly get back to where I was before I
left for work, or at least something close to what I was.
I spent most of my life working so I couldn’t imagine
not going back. I enjoy the people, the time to myself and the responsibility
of the job. I might not be able to do as good of a job as I did before but I
sure as heck going to try. I never in a million years thought I would look
forward to going to work but I do. I think for me to be a better mom for my
boys I need that constant that has been in my life for well over 20 years. Like
I said, I may not be the same person I was when I left but I’m going to try and
be close to that same person as I can. I know things will be different and my
time commitments aren’t going to be the same but I can work with what I have
and see what I end up with. Fingers crossed work isn’t so hard to incorporate
in my new life of motherhood.
