Never a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride!

So I got the news today...that I wasn't in my girlfriends wedding party, for the second time. I know you're probably sitting there asking yourself how is this possible. Well let me fill you in...

It all started back last fall when a girlfriend of mine got engaged; we had become fast friends but I knew that she has friends from childhood and didn't think anything of being in her wedding party. I was fine with that, in fact I had helped her out a couple of times when she was stressing out over a wedding problem, needed advice or needed a suggestion. I was always there for her and didn't expect anything in return. I had gotten the news that she had already picked her bridesmaids and Maid of Honor (MOH) and I continued to help her in any way possible. As time went on it was becoming apparent with all of her "Not so Happy" wedding stories involving her Monster of Honor. I could see that this was very upsetting to her; I mean she came into my office and was tearing up describing her dress shopping with her trio of girls. I tried to console her as best as I could, however I stated the obvious fact that she needed to address this problem with her Monster of Honor. Unfortunately the Bride-to-Be didn't want to have anything to do with confronting her...so the verbal abuse continued. After many many hours of listening to the Bride-to-Be complaining I continued with my advice of getting it out sooner rather than later...

It came out that had her Groom-to-Be had 4 people I would've been the third bridesmaid. There it was out there, what the hell was I supposed to say to that? All that I could muster was "Thank You". But the good news didn't end there; she then went on to tell me that "if" she kicked her Monster of Honour out I was going to be stepping in...which then put me in a very awkward position, how do you tell one of your very good friends that one of her supposed very good friends needs to be kicked out on her ass and taught a lesson.

As the days went on, the complaining and hinting from the Bride-to-Be increased as well as my hope...then finally the Bride-to-Be snapped and wrote an email to her Monster of Honor...not to tell her that she was out but that she was behaving badly. The email seemed to have worked; but the Bride-to-Be didn't sound too convinced as said (and I quote) "...we'll see how she is, three strikes and you're out!" Like what the f@ck does that mean?? I thought that your MOH was supposed to be the person you trusted most and planned on being friends with until the day you die...the Bride-to-Be even said (again I quote) "...I don't know if (the MOH and I) will be friends after the wedding". This is the part that made me most sad...

This brought up many old memories of how I'd been passed over more than once for being a bridesmaid. The first time was when I was 19, a girlfriend that I'd been friends with since Junior High was getting married. We'd kept in touch and to find out from her sister that I wasn't a part of the wedding because I didn't attend her church regularly. That was heartbreaking...I cried for about a week and even during the wedding.

The second time was another friend who'd I'd been friends with since High School and yet again I was passed over because her mother thought I was the reason her daughter was so bad. But after 6 months of marriage and the Bride's continual affairs, her mother soon realized that I wasn't the problem.

The third time was for another new fast friend, she and I were inseparable...I'd met her through an ex and her and I were so close we could finish each other's thoughts. Once again her mother had convinced her to have only family, no friends. So I ended up being an usher in her wedding. We're still close as ever and she tells me every time that she regrets not having me in her wedding party.

The fourth time was for another friend and yet again had she had more people I would've definitely been in it. And now for the fifth time, I got the same excuse...

I sometimes wonder if this is something that Bride-to-Be's tell all their girlfriends to make them feel special so that their guilt is less? I really don't know? I'm at a point where I just wish for once that I wasn't passed by, maybe b/c I'm getting to an age where I don't know if it'll happen for me more than once (the Bridesmaid part). Maybe this is just something that I will just have to accept, but for now not only am I pissed but I'm sick of being passed by.

One of these days the Bride thing will happen but for now I just want to be a Bridesmaid!