Marty

It was 5 years ago yesterday that my cousin Martinique died in a tragic car accident. I remember it like it was yesterday...

It was a Sunday morning and I awoke crying shortly after 7AM; I woke up my significant other (at the time) and said something is wrong. He consoled me and I went back to sleep, thinking that I had just had a nightmare. I still remember it as if it just happened...In my dream I was standing beside my sister crying, at first I thought something had happened to my brother but shortly after that he came up to us and put his arms around us both as we continued to cry...and then I woke up sobbing in my sleep. There are very few people who know this except for my mom and a few selected family members.

After waking up for the day, I called my mom to chat as we normally do every weekend. I told her about my dream and how I was worried about "The Kids". Meaning my brother and sister; but they were fine so I continued about my day. As the day went on all I could think about was my dream, I talked to my significant other (at the time) and we didn't think anything too strangely of it, until bedtime arrived and I got the phone call about Marty missing and possibly being in a car accident.

My first immediate thought was of my dream and then I was hoping and praying that it wasn't about her...phone call after phone call to everyone that she knows uncovered nothing. It wasn't until early Monday morning that it was confirmed that she had passed away in a car accident. I got the phone call and remember thinking if I don't get out of bed, then it can't be true. Sadly it was on the news and in the papers, there was just no escaping it and finally on Tuesday morning I made my way over to my Aunt's to help with the funeral arrangements...

To this day, it still brings tears to my eyes to think that her life was taken so tragically and that I hoped she had experienced everything that she wanted to. But I still think back to my dream that morning and after discussing it with my mom, we came to the conclusion that she came to say goodbye. After many years of missing her it dawned on me that in my dream my brother was standing between my sister and I and I happened to look at a photo that is still hanging on my fridge and there in that little photograph at Marty's funeral is the pose that was in my dream. Coincidence?? I don't know??

I don't dream of her too often, but on Sunday night I dreamt of her again. It was August 10th, five years ago...we had buried her and then like magic she showed up, out of the blue. I asked her where she had been and that everyone thought she was dead. She just laughed her little girl laugh and said "I was never really gone". I showed her the headstone and the articles and that she had to notify everyone immediately; again she just laughed and said she would. After waking up I once again called my mom to tell her about my dream and it was a pleasant thought that she was coming to visit me to let me know that she isn't really gone, but instead is always with us...

Every time I hear the song ‘Beautiful’ by Christina Aguilera, I think of her...when it first came out she called me and told me to listen to this song. I told her I would but in true ‘Marty’ fashion she held the phone up to the speaker for the whole song so I could listen to it. She was just so funny that way. I still miss her, I miss her little girl laugh, I miss her smiling face. I know she's in a better place but there are times that I still wish she were here to call me and make me listen to another song that she likes over the phone...