Shattered Dreams

It's still been three months since it happened and we're still feeling the effects. Neither of us saw this coming; we were living in a euphoric state of mind...

The boyfriend and I had just finalized the dishwasher choice for our new home and were ecstatic to get to the builder to let them know the good news. We also had ulterior motives as we wanted to see if the blue prints had come in yet. Upon our arrival we still had the giddy look on our faces; you know the one new home owners get when they've completed all of their "shopping" tasks. That look was quickly replaced with complete and utter horror when the builder said to us "...we've been meaning to call you guys to discuss a change." The boyfriend I quickly glanced at each other wondering what they meant; neither of us changed anything??

After pulling us into an office and in our persistence they explained to us that the house we chose couldn't be built on the lot we picked. Reason being was because the architectural guidelines had changed and the builder wasn't made aware of these changes. The previous statement is partially true because had the builder done their due diligence they would've known that the house they sold us, that I put money down on and had done all the "shopping" for was not allowed to be built there because it didn't meet the guidelines.

This information would've been so useful before I invested 3 months of my time. Not only was I emotionally attached as I had everything picked out. What do you mean by everything you say? Well if you've ever built a new house before; you know after signing the purchase agreement that you have 21 days after that to go and meet with the electrician, the flooring people, the lighting company, the appliance people, the paint people, the cupboard people and let's not forget the railing, the windows, the door knobs, the doors, the counter tops, the counter top height, the cable outlets...this list could go on...they all have people associated with them because these are all choices that have to be made. So needless to say we were both pretty pissed off because some of these people don't work on weekends forcing us to miss work and make these choices.

After the madness wore off we tried out damndest to get a house plan to work. Unfortunately the builder presented us with house plans that were somewhat thrown together. Despite our efforts we were forced to walk away from the deal and here we sit three months later and still no closer to our dream home...

I think the reason it hit us so hard was because not only were we buying a house, but we were making that first big step together. Moving in together, it was the first big step for our future. Now we are forced to start over but with a bit more perspective under our belts. So our journey continues with our gained knowledge hopefully our dreams will no longer be shattered but fulfilled.

We have started looking again and it seems that there is nothing out there that comes close. Have our standards gone up? Yes. Will they ever come down? We're not sure...

My Independence Home

***Just a note, that I wrote this a few months back and just found it the other day...thought I would post it anyhow***

It took me 29 years to feel that slice of independence that everyone kept telling me about. Although I left home at the ripe age of 16, I moved in with my Aunt; prior to that I had only lived with my family. After only a year and a half of living with my Aunt, I moved back home to try living with my parents and siblings again…that only seemed to last a short period of time and low and behold I got a place of my own. I was 18 and bartending, I figured with the tips I made that I could afford to live on my own. I think I spent about two weeks of living alone when a friend and co-worker asked if she could move in with me. Hesitantly I agreed and that began my love affair of always having a roommate. 


Year after year I would move in with someone new; some roomies lasted longer than others...but still I didn't know what it truly meant to live alone. Until I finally did it; I bought a place of my own and decided I would not let anyone move in with me and I would learn to love living alone.

At first I didn't quite get it; it was so quiet. I will admit I was a bit lonely as there was no one to talk to...but as time went on I learned to love it. If something was a mess, it was because I made it. If something was missing, it was because I misplaced it. I loved this new found freedom of "making it" on my own. I felt so liberated.

For almost 3 years now I've been living alone, but recently my boyfriend and I purchased a house together. Exciting, yes. It’s all I can think about, I honestly can't wait until we move in together. Part of me is scared because we've both lived solo for so long, we have certain routines. But part of me is happy because we'll now get to see more of each other. I know that we'll have that awkward stage of wanting to kill each other, but that will pass knowing that we've both contributed to the purchased of this new home.

While it is sad that I must sell my 'Independence' home, I feel good about it because I know another chapter of my life is beginning. So for now I must bid adieu to my 'Independence' home so that I can move into my 'New Chapter' home. Besides experiencing the joys of living alone in my 'Independence' home; without it I would've never gotten the chance to move into my 'New Chapter' home. So for that...Thank you 'Independence' home.

There's No Place Like Home

What a great day. That is all I can say about today. It was the first un-official day that spring has arrived. I was able to brave the day in capri's and sandals...yes I said sandals.

I had the pleasure of meeting my mom today, which means a trip to the North end of the city. Considering I reside in the South end of town; it's a bit of a trek. But no matter how long of a drive I still make it, there's something about going back to the old neighbourhood of where you grew up. Don't get me wrong, we didn't live in one house forever...in fact we moved so many times I stopped counting how many schools after 21. But no matter how many times we moved we always seemed to be just down the road from where we started. Funny how that happens eh?

Anyhow, like I was saying going back to your old stomping grounds seems to bring all the memories back. I like that it's familiar and I like that I know all the shortcuts. I also like all the big trees because all the neighbourhoods in the North end are established. It's been around the longest and yes, there are some parts of the North end that are pretty run down...but overall it's pretty great. I lived in the North end practically my whole life and when I decided to move to the West end of the city, it was a very big change. I had to get to know all the neighbourhoods again and find all the shortcuts and basically find all the things that I needed again. I felt like I had moved to a whole new city, even though I was 25 minutes away from home. The West end move only lasted for about 3 years; then I made my way back to the North end for about a year and a half until my brand new condo was completed. Did I mention that the condo was on the South side…the far South side? We're talking 15 minutes away from the airport South side. I had to make the transition of getting to know this side of the city...AGAIN. I wasn't completely upset because there were a lot of new shops for me to discover. Three years later I'm still here and enjoying it, but there is still a soft spot in my heart for the North end. It doesn’t matter how long I've been away from there I always feel so comfortable when I go back.

There have been a lot of changes since I was last there, but they're good changes…new stores, new buildings, new neighbourhoods. It's all nice to see the good changes. Despite all my feelings for the North end, I don't anticipate moving back there anytime soon. It's just nice to get back there every now and again.

Paradise in the Oddest Place

Who would've thought we would discover a small piece of paradise nestled away in the hustle and bustle of the big city? It turns out taking the dog for a nice evening walk can really uncover a lot of hidden gems.

It started out as the usual routine of walking the dog, peering into the backyards of others (purely to get landscaping ideas) and nonchalantly catching up on our days activities. We decided to take the dog to an area that she hadn't been to before and maybe even hit a garage sale or two on the way. As we made our way through the row houses and the cookie cutter houses, we came across a path. Normally a path all by itself wouldn't warrant a change of direction, but it was the mature trees and slight glimpse of a small road that caught our eye. We decided the garage sales could wait and we would take this unknown path to see what lay beyond the trees...

Once we turned the corner, we both knew we weren't in Kansas anymore. At first we were uncertain what lied behind the trees, but we walked a bit further and then we saw them. In the clearing we could make out 3 acreages, yes acreages in the heart of the city. We couldn't believe our eyes, with this discovery we decided to proceed down the tree lined roadway that somehow got us to the 'Twilight Zone'. As we continued on our little excursion, we soon discovered not 10, but 20 acreages hidden away. We're not talking tiny acreages either; from what we could tell some of them were 20-30 acres in size. All I could think was "…This is unbelievable."

Once the shock wore off, we proceeded to do more "investigating" and it turns out from what we can gather, these houses were built in the late 70's, early 80's. We thought back to when the owners initially purchased 20 odd years ago...and wondered who would’ve predicted these out of the way acreages would someday be a part of our ever growing city?

As the night sky started to grow darker we decided to leave what we now call "Our new favourite place in the city", we couldn't help but smile and think to ourselves...what a lovely hidden gem. Then we turned the corner back into the cookie cutter, row houses and reality. I guess paradise really is where you least expect it.

Coming of Age

I was able to catch the tail end of one of my favourite movies on TV last night. It was the one where Molly Ringwald gives Judd Nelson one of her diamond earrings...c'mon anyone who was a teenager in the 80's will know this one! If you guessed The Breakfast Club, then you are right!

Not only do I own this movie; guaranteed I will be watching it if it's on TV. There is just something so magical about that movie, could it be because it's one of my many coming of age movies?? I stop and I think back to that particular era of movies and am surprisingly able to name all of them. Pretty in Pink (Own it), St Elmo's Fire (Own it), The Breakfast Club (Own it), Flashdance (Own it), Footloose (Own it) and last be definitely not least Dirty Dancing...sadly I own this one too. Anyhow my point is, these movies played such an integral part of my life, probably in many others' lives as well.

At that time they really pushed the envelope, nothing like they do now days. But maybe that's what the charm was about them; they conveyed the message they needed to without overdoing it. All of the characters, whether it was Dirty Dancing to St Elmo's Fire seemed to have an innocence about them and we could all relate. I really miss those types of movies, you know the ones where you already know the ending but you still watch it because the characters don't know what's going to happen. I don't know it just puts a smile on my face thinking about it...

Not only will these movies forever be in my heart, but they will forever be in my movie collection.

Snow, Snow Go Away...

Ugh! That was my first thought this morning; more snow?!?! Where in the hell is this weather coming from? Just a few weeks ago I was getting excited knowing that spring was making a comeback.

How disappointing to see all this white stuff; this far along. I am craving for the days when I can put away my scarves, gloves and boots. I honestly can’t wait until the sweaters and other layers of clothing are packed away for the summer.

I went to pay my ball fees today and found out that the season will start on April 28th; yes, 20 days from now! With all this snow on the ground I am very doubtful that we will be out there swinging the bat and throwing the ball around. How can I pull my ball bag out now and get excited? Ho, hum! I know that I will muster up the excitement to pull the ol’ ball bag out, but it’s hard when the weather is so yucky!

Cleaning House

Yuck is all I can say. I hate cleaning, I hate it so much that here I sit complaining about it...we all know what I am really doing...procrastinating!

How much I despise cleaning, yet it’s in my blood to be such a clean freak... Damn family genes!

How does one find the time to enjoy all the things in life and still have a clean house? I realize all the moms are out there reading this and pretty much telling me to get a life...and a part of me wants to agree with them. The problem with that is that I want a clean house too; yes I want it all.

I just can’t seem to find the time to clean or maybe I just don’t want to find the time to clean. I honestly get sick of cleaning; it drives me nuts. Just when I think I am done; there in the dark corner is a dust bunny...taunting me, letting me know that I’ve missed it in the initial sweep of the floors. I tell ya, I just don’t know how moms find the time...kudos to them. I’ve let the cleaning go because I just can’t find the time or energy and it’s getting pretty gross. If I am cleaning something it’s because I can’t stand it and it’s just creeping me out.

Let me set the record straight though before all you moms lay judgement on me...I may reside alone; but I have weekly visitors twice a week. I get them on weekends and once during the week. They are furry, messy creatures and pretty much pop in and then pop out...not before leaving a mess of hair, slobber and toys all over the place. I’ve just stopped cleaning hoping that maybe it will miraculously get done...but no such luck.

I dust on Tuesday only to be dusting again on Thursday; vacuuming...that’s a joke! Why even bother?!?! The hair is so matted into the carpet I’m afraid to move the furniture to see what the carpet use to look like. I’ve also noticed that my once pristine couch and loveseat are starting to show a tinge of darkness... My coffee table...well it’s scratched all to shit and looks like it’s a used lint roller. I guess I just get so frustrated that I live alone yet my place is a disaster.

And people wonder why I don’t entertain??? Too much cleaning!