There
in the bottom of my drawer sat my old grey sweater; all crumpled, tattered and
stained. I grabbed it smushing it to my face and took a deep breath inhaling
all the memories that came with it.
The
sleeves (what was left of them) and the stains were all a
part of what made it so special. When I would be making spaghetti sauce I would
splatter sauce all over the arm of the sweater. Oddly enough I wasn't in any
hurry to go and clean it off, I felt it would give it more character. Even the
time I was eating a chocolate fudge sundae and I dropped some chocolate sauce
on the logo just below my shoulder. I merely rubbed it in and to this day that
stain is still there. I can tell you how every stain got on this sweater and
why I was wearing it; it's almost like all the stains have their own little
story of how they became a part of the sweater and its comfort.
The
way I would feel when I pulled it over my head. How I never felt fat it in, how
I loved the way it fell on my hips…giving the illusion that I was slimmer than
I really was. It did all the things a friend would do, except it was a piece of
clothing. One that as I stared at it was telling me that it's time to let go,
its work is done here. It's been with me through thick and thin. Times when I
didn't think I would ever stop crying, times when I just wanted to be alone,
times when I was happy and times when I was sad.
To
know that I would come home and put this sweater on whenever I wanted to would
soon be a distant memory. I had to face reality, this sweater has done its job
and I had to let it go. Was I ready for that? I don't know...but would I ever
be ready to let it go?
So
there I sat with this sweater in my one hand and the donation bag in the other.
How could I let it go, it's been there through everything! As I stared down at
this sweater that could tell a million stories, I realized it was time to pass
on this healing sweater to someone who needed it more than
I did. I know I’ll find another sweater like my old one...but right now I don't
need one anytime soon.
